Technical Jokes

Hello everybody :slight_smile:

Do You know any technical jokes that are really funny ?

Here’s my favourite trio.
**
Joke 1**
Q: How to generate a random string ?
A: Put a fresh student in front of vi and tell him to quit.

Joke 2
Q: How does a transistor work ?
A: It’s magical smoke driven. The magical smoke normally resides inside the transistor and grants the device it’s special powers but once it gets out the transistor is not functional any more.

Joke 3
Q: Do You chat with your wife during sex ?
A: Well… only if she calls me.

Ok the third one is not really technical but I still find it quite funny. Sorry if anyone feels offended by it. If so it was not my intention.

Best regards,
Greg

Great Jokes, but in Hellas we have better Jokes(write in Google Ανέκδοτα με τον ΤΟΤΟ or Jokes with ΤΟΤΟ)

So why not translate them and post here ?

Best regards,
Greg

Ok I will translate them.

Great jokes especially the first one :slight_smile:

glistwan wrote:
> Q: How to generate a random string ?
> A: Put a fresh student in front of vi and tell him to quit.

very nice!! all three were good but i’ve lived though the first one
more than once…and early on learned the easiest way out of vi was to
remove power from the machine!

i don’t have any jokes off-hand, but i sure like this:

Be it ever so humble, there is no place like 127.0.0.1.


DenverD
CAVEAT: http://is.gd/bpoMD [posted via NNTP w/openSUSE 10.3]

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Don’t really have much technical jokes but I really like this one:
There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t

A comic strip…
http://c.imagehost.org/0606/image001.png](http://c.imagehost.org/view/0606/image001)

Bit of shell humor:


> PATH=pretending! /usr/bin/which sense
/usr/bin/which: no sense in (pretending!)

lol!

On Wed, 19 Jan 2011 11:36:01 +0000, glistwan wrote:

> Joke 1*
> Q: How to generate a random string ?
> A: Put a fresh student in front of vi and tell him to quit.

I like that one, will have to remember it.

Someone’s already probably mentioned the “10 types of people in the
world” joke.

Jim


Jim Henderson
openSUSE Forums Administrator
Forum Use Terms & Conditions at http://tinyurl.com/openSUSE-T-C

On Wed, 19 Jan 2011 12:03:25 +0000, DenverD wrote:

> very nice!! all three were good but i’ve lived though the first one more
> than once…and early on learned the easiest way out of vi was to remove
> power from the machine!

I actually know someone who did that - on multiple occasions - because he
couldn’t figure out how to exit it.

Jim


Jim Henderson
openSUSE Forums Administrator
Forum Use Terms & Conditions at http://tinyurl.com/openSUSE-T-C

A gentle bit of humorous technical writing here HP OpenVMS systems - Year 2000

Jim Henderson wrote:
> I actually know someone who did that - on multiple occasions - because he
> couldn’t figure out how to exit it.

i wasn’t joking…the first time i tried it (about red hat 7.1) i
couldn’t close vi, and pulled the plug to regain control! (and, i may
have had to do the same the second, and LAST time i tried vi)

i do NOT use vi now…mc is so easy (course, i used Norton Commander
on dos4 and File Commander (a NC clone) on Warp, so mc is is a dream…

[can you not imagine my need to be in control?]


DenverD
CAVEAT: http://is.gd/bpoMD [posted via NNTP w/openSUSE 10.3]
Be it ever so humble, there is no place like 127.0.0.1.

On Wed, 19 Jan 2011 19:00:26 +0000, DenverD wrote:

> Jim Henderson wrote:
>> I actually know someone who did that - on multiple occasions - because
>> he couldn’t figure out how to exit it.
>
> i wasn’t joking…the first time i tried it (about red hat 7.1) i
> couldn’t close vi, and pulled the plug to regain control! (and, i may
> have had to do the same the second, and LAST time i tried vi)

Wow, that makes two people that I know who have done that - and I did
think you were joking. :slight_smile:

> i do NOT use vi now…mc is so easy (course, i used Norton Commander on
> dos4 and File Commander (a NC clone) on Warp, so mc is is a dream…

I’m a ‘vi’ guy through and through. :slight_smile:

> [can you not imagine my need to be in control?]

LOL, now THAT was funny. :wink:

Jim

Jim Henderson
openSUSE Forums Administrator
Forum Use Terms & Conditions at http://tinyurl.com/openSUSE-T-C

Thanks for responses all :slight_smile: I particularly like the picture with sudo.

On the vi random string generation that also happened to me an guess what I was a first year student at that time detesting linux, any types of shell and especially vi :slight_smile:

I must say I very much like vi (or maybe it’s vim i’m using not really sure) at the moment. I find the yy, dd ,p and u commands (during movement mode) particularly usefull. The u (undo) feature is very usefull in terms of destroying a freshly generated random string :slight_smile:

On Wed, 19 Jan 2011 22:06:02 +0000, glistwan wrote:

> Thanks for responses all :slight_smile: I particularly like the picture with sudo.
>
> On the vi random string generation that also happened to me an guess
> what I was a first year student at that time detesting linux, any types
> of shell and especially vi :slight_smile:
>
> I must say I very much like vi (or maybe it’s vim i’m using not really
> sure) at the moment. I find the yy, dd ,p and u commands (during
> movement mode) particularly usefull. The u (undo) feature is very
> usefull in terms of destroying a freshly generated random string :slight_smile:

These days on openSUSE (at least), vi is a symlink or alias to vim. :slight_smile:

Jim


Jim Henderson
openSUSE Forums Administrator
Forum Use Terms & Conditions at http://tinyurl.com/openSUSE-T-C

I followed this guide online about a year or two ago which taught me the basics of vi. Before learning vi I was using this awesome text editer called nano (pico clone). I actually had no idea that there was an editor war between emacs and vi lol!

Well I translate some of them but you Greek language is strange and some of them(jokes) can not understand.

Toto’s grandmother gives him money for his birthday! The Totos the passes and leaves, but stops the mother of:

  • Then you forgot to say something he ask to his your grandmother!
  • What?
  • What I say to your father every time I get money?
  • Aaaaaaaaaa, says Totos, and he ask to his grandmother : only that you have?

Dad to Toto:

  • So now the stork brought you a new brother …
  • Well eh dad move out a bunch of beautiful women and you went to **** the stork?

One day, his family Tautou, decided to visit a friendly family. Their son, however, had a specificity. He had no ears. So, his parents Tautou, advised him not to make any question about the ears of the child and embarrassed. As Totos discussed with the child’s father says:

  • “Your son looks good?”
  • “Yes, very well.”
  • “In 20 years? Will he see well?”
  • “I think it looks good.”
  • “In 40 years?”
  • “Well, in 40 years, he will probably need glasses.”
  • “And who would support?”

He answers the phone Totos:

  • “Please I would like to speak to your mother.”
  • My mother is currently can not talk because she shitting. Leaving mom from the bathroom quarreled very bad and said that next time to say that my mother is in the bathroom of the need.
  • The next day the phone rings again. The mom in the bathroom again and Totos answers:
  • My mom can not talk because it is in the bathroom of the need.
  • This will be late? ask him.
    And Totos
  • Probably because she go to toilet, farting!

Sorry from inappropriate language, but these are greek jokes!!!
And some of them to be succeed and funny, include these words.

Sorry again!!!:shame:

Here in Hellas we have and radio arvila but you can not understand because it is in greek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OcOI6eZvLw

http://www.lessaid.net/fun/apt-get-wife.png