I’ve added the Tumbleweed repo using this guide
hoping that my proxy error issue with Kpackagekit would go away magically.
but I still have the proxy error and Kpackagekit does not run at startup.
I’ve seen the bug report for 11.4 but none of the suggested workarounds worked for me.
It seems to be behaving itself here on Tumbleweed. It pops into system tray to show updates are available. I then use Yast>Software>Online Update or Management to install the updates (unless I do it by zypper dup).
You are not missing anything, really. I recall Kpackagekit from kubuntu (dumped it) and it’s a dumb awful user interface. For example, when you search for updates and it doesn’t find any, it just gives you a blank panel with no feedback msg, i.e. dumb UI and slow.
I have just gotten lazy expecting the convenient reminder about updates 
and I certainly can’t expect my wife to do manual updates, she won’t even click on the updater icon in the system tray !
Yes, I prefer to have a notification, and then decide when and what to update. On another 11.4 installation (standard) here, Kpackagekit is broken.